


japanese boy and japanese flowers

by spacexplorer



Category: K-pop
Genre: Angst, Baking, Boys Kissing, Crying, Cuddling, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, Neck Kissing, Night Lights, Nightmares, Other, Self-Harm, They get a pet, Yuta is the bottom, alright alright, coffee dates, green tea cake, ha, im sorrie, more like thAI TAE HWU, pretty light chapters tbh i should probably start trying, tae the cook, thai tea, uwu, well um, wowie, yuta has nightmares
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-04-18 03:52:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14204448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacexplorer/pseuds/spacexplorer
Summary: Yuta is a friend of Tae. They have activities like regular friends have, right?there's a lot of crying to go aroundself-harm warningeating disorder warning





	1. hallways and morning sighs

**Author's Note:**

> this is for a friend kinda i guess 
> 
> im in the wrong fandom
> 
> i dedicate my soul only to south park and voltron

Yuta’s POV

I brushed past Taeyoung during passing period. We both looked back at each other and grinned. I blushed a tiny bit, pink coloring my pale cheeks.

I looked back and padded myself over to my locker. I twisted my combination into my lock, and I put down my backpack. I unzipped the front pocket and took out the textbooks and notebooks, and shoved it into my locker.

I slammed the metal door shut. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and sighed at the weight.

I walked back towards my classroom and slid the heavy door to the left. I saw Taeyoung already seated in his usual seat all the way in the back, scrolling through his phone.

He heard my footsteps and glanced from his phone. I waved excitedly at him, and he mirrored my actions. I took a seat next to him: “Good morning!” I greeted my friend. He greeted me back.


	2. leaving school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They study together and oof

Chapter Two: Yuta’s POV

I squirmed throughout the lecture. Staying still wasn't’ exactly my strongest suit. I played with my fingers in anxiousness, twisting them around and making shadow puppets.

Even though Taeyoung was my friend of five years, he still made me squirm and nervous. My hands are clammy and gross right now. I tried to wipe the precipitation off on my trousers, but Taeyoung must’ve noticed my squirming, and he suddenly grabbed my thin wrist, causing me to jolt up in surprise. He caught me a bit off guard there, he’s usually pretty reclusive in the touchy feely kinda thing. 

“Are you feeling alright?” Concern laced his voice. “You seem a bit warm right now, I can even feel it through your wrist. Are you sick?” 

Genuine worry clouded his eyes. I let out a skittish chuckle and grinned weakly up at him. 

“I’m alright, just worried about the upcoming test, that’s all.”  
Taeyoung seemed to be questioning with this answer and turned his attention back towards the blackboard nonetheless. 

I sighed innerly, and continued with my fidgeting. 30 minutes later, the last bell rung out and fazed me out of my fidgeting trance. 

I glanced over at Taeyoung, who was piling his textbooks and notebooks in his bag, and slinging it over his back. 

“Hey, since you seem to be so high-strung about the upcoming test, do you wanna study at my place today?” 

Oh shit. Was he serious or is he just fucking around with me? Heck. 

“O-Oh! Sure, I would love to.” I stuttered out like the anime school girl that I am. 

He flashed his damn gorgeous smile and brooded over me. “Cool! Let’s go grab your stuff from your locker first.” 

I padded myself over to my locker, footsteps with a lengthy stride following soon after. 

I kneeled down and twisted my combination into my blue padlock. I popped my latch down and lifted the lock up and wrapped my hand around it, my clammy hands cooled by the metal. 

I swiftly loaded my backpack and zipped it up, and put it on. 

I looked at Taeyoung and beamed at him. “Let’s go.”


	3. cuts, scratches, and colorful band-aids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning. please do not read this fan-fiction if topics about self-harm, self-hatred, eating disorders and overall, just, angst makes your uncomfortable in any way or form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yuta and tae both cry in this lil' chapter

Chapter Three: Yuta

We walked to Taeyoung’s house, the silence stifling. Taeyoung broke through the thick silence with a question. 

“So, what exactly are you struggling with? I don’t think you’ve mentioned what you need help with.” He deadpanned.

Shithshitshitshitshitshit. I’m not dumb, but I haven’t been paying attention throughout the whole school year. 

“Oh. I don’t really know how to explain it, or rather the terminology for it. Why don’t we get to your house first and figure it out later?”

Taeyoung snorted. “If you insist so, sure.” He then pushed his charcoal fringe out of his grey eyes. 

We arrived at Taeyoung’s house and began studying about geometry and volume and stuff?

We sat on his bed, and took out our supplies for the study session. 

“Sooooooo, what you are supposed to do to find the area of this shape?” I pointed my pilot pen at the awkward polygon. I sighed and pushed my sleeves up as a habit. 

Taeyoung suddenly seized my wrist and I immediately felt sweat beading up. I tried to yank my thin wrist back towards me, but Taeyoung’s grip remained as strong as ever.

Tears began to well up in my eyes as Taeyoung examined my cuts.

“Yuta.” He began sternly, his stare piercing me. 

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKCUKCUFKCUFKCUFKCUFKV

 

I felt myself hyperventilating and my breathing turned from ragged to shallow and hardly existent. 

Hot tears began to stream down my face, and Taeyoung quickly let go of my wrist in shock. 

I brought my knees up to my stomach, edging tears spilling over in an instant. I cradled my shins and rocked myself back in forth as a source of comfort. 

Taeyoung gently grabbed my shoulder, but it only caused me to shrink down even further into myself, hoping to disappear and nevermore come back. 

I began to tug on my own sleeves, trying in vain to cover up my big, ugly, disgusting scars and fresh wounds. 

 

Ugly cries turned into soft sobbing, and into gentle hiccups.

I started to scratched at my still healing scars, to try and get some pain from that. Taeyoung quickly seized my wrist and held it to try and stop my obsessive scratching. 

I looked down in shame, picking at my nails, hoping that Taeyoung would just forget about what had happened. 

I felt a shift in weight on the bed, and Taeyong sat down, leg crossed on his floor, so he can properly see me. 

“Hey.” His dulcet eyes gazed upon me, trying to see what emotion I was feeling right now.

“Hey.” I replied. I cringed at how raspy my voice sounded. I chewed on my lip. 

“Can I see your wrists, please?” I curled up into myself and looked below me, noly to see pleading gray eyes. 

I sniffled once more and moved my arms towards him. He gingerly smoothed my sleeves up, like he afraid that I was going to break. 

My arm revealed different cuts from different times of my life. Big, red and angry gashes littered across my pale skin. I blushed embarrassedly, unused to the suddenly attention. 

He rubbed his calloused thumb over my older scars, causing me to shudder. 

What the fuck? Did I just motherfucking shudder at the contact of him touching my shitty self harm scars? 

I could feel the tips of my ears getting red. I folded my sock clad feet under my thighs and rubbed my feet together. 

“How long have you been doing this?” His tone was like he was talking to a nervous bunny, which wasn’t that far off.  
“...” 

“Come on, please?” 

“3 years, coming on four I think?”

His eyes visabally widened, and I knew that I should’ve lied and told him it was only a few months when he first started. 

 

“...Let’s just get these wrapped up first.” Taeyoung grimly replied. He motioned to the now opened and dripping scars that I must’ve ripped apart and open during my scratching session. 

“Shit. It’s dripping onto your flooring.” I jolted my arm back, and tried to stop the bleeding by pressing my white sleeve over my cuts. 

“It’s alright, I can clean it up later.” He brushed himself off and he stood up. 

He walked into the hallway, and disappeared into the bathroom. He came out with a first aid kit. 

He sat back down and flipped open the latch and flipped the top part of the pristine box open.


	4. a sleepover

Chapter four: Yuta 

He took out some rubbing alcohol and some some bandages. He also took out some colored band-aids, probably for my smaller cuts. 

“Dude, this is going to sting a bit.” He swigged the rubbing alcohol onto a cotton pad and touched my fresh cuts.

I winced as the rubbing alcohol seeped through my skin. I pressed my eyelids together and felt my lashes press against my dark under eye circles.   
“We’re almost done disinfecting your wounds and injuries. Just hang on for a bit longer, alright?” Taeyong reassured me with a smile peeking out from behind his dark bangs. 

I bit my chapped lips and nodded, curling my toes as if that would help ease the stinging pain. I felt the cotton pain leave my irritated skin, and relief washed over me. I heard Taeyong roll the gauze closer to him, and stretched his lanky arms to grab it. He then rummaged through the medical first aid kit and took out a small pair of scissors. He unraveled some of the gauze and snipped the part he needed, off. 

 

“Tell me when the bandages are on too tight, or too loose, okay?” He looked up at me, gaining consent. 

He held a small part of the bandage with his thumb, and began wrapping my arm. After wrapping my arm grabbed some blue adhesive tape. 

“Yuta, is this alright? Does it hurt, or is it uncomfortable in any way?” My cheeks tinted in a dusty pink. Taeyong was being unbelievably gentle and caring for me.

“Mhm, it’s okay. It’s doesn’t hurt or anything.” I replied. 

“Cool.” He ripped a piece of the blue adhesive with his teeth, and sticked it on the loose piece of excess bandage. 

“Here. It’s wrapped up and good. I’ll change your bandages regularly until your wounds heal completely, okay, Yuta?”

“Mkay. But how are you going to change it everyday?” I questioned.

“Easy. I bring the materials I need to patch you right up.” 

I felt a sinking feeling knowing that I won’t be able to cut as long as Taeyong is up and on my ass all the time. I gripped and tugged at my sleeves as I started to get nervous. I really don’t want Taeyong to see my scars anymore. It embrasses me. I dug my nails into the bandage trying to reopen the wounds, when Taeyong gently grabbed my wrist and held my hand to prevent the wound from getting infected again.

“Don’t dig your nails into them. It’s going to get infected again and I’m going to have to take you to the ER.” He muttered.

The thought of another person seeing my scars made tears begin to edge, again. He saw Taeyong begin to panic slightly when his tears started to bud up.

“No no no, please don’t cry.” Taeyong beseeched me. He tried to comfort me by wrapping his arms around mine, but it just caused my tears to flow even faster. While holding me, he clicked his fingernails together, like he did when he was extremely stressed. Oh. I must be causing his distress. I should push him away now. 

I tried to scoot away from him, but he gripped even tighter. I could feel his warm, but erratic breath against my cheek, and I flushed a pale shade of thulian.

“Yuta… I really don’t want to lose you, you mean so much to me. You’re my best friend, and the only friend that genuinely cares about me and my well being.”

Ugly tears began to stream down my cheeks, cracking the older, dried tears. Instead of him gripping me tighter, I held him closer to me, afraid that If I let him go, he would shatter into a thousand porcelain pieces. I felt him sniff against me, and a small moist spot forming against my thin button up. 

“Taeyong, please don’t cry, I didn’t want to cry, and I didn’t want you to cry either.” I let go of the warm embrace, and pulled my sleeve down enough to hold between my palm and fingers, and I pat his droplets of tears away. He did the same.

“Do you want to stay the night? Like we did when we were younger? You don’t have to sleep. We could just stay up and do things. Like play video games and stuff, if that makes you feel any better.” Taeyong looked everywhere but me. 

“y-Yes, I would really love to.” But where would I sleep? Probably the couch. Would I even be able to sleep?


	5. olive green hoodie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yuta gets a hoodie
> 
> it's from taeyong

Chapter Four: Yuta’s POV

I just realized that I didn’t bring clothes with me. What am I going to sleep in? I guess I could just sleep in my regular school clothes, but that would be kinda gross. I wouldn't want to ruin Taeyong’s house. A hoodie being thrown on my face shook me back from my thoughts. Huh, It kinda smells like Tae’s room. I took the hoodie off my face. It was Taeyong’s hoodie I clutched the olive green hoodie and flushed crimson. “Um, Thank you Taeyong. I really do appreciate it.” He sent a grin my way. “Everything for my Yuta.” My cheeks tinted, and my ears were hot. “W-What?” I stuttered out. Taeyong laughed. “Just kidding, you should’ve seen your reaction!” I puffed my cheeks out as a retort. 

“Oh, Yeah! I forgot to ask you something. Do you want to sleep on the bed? I could sleep on the floor. I don’t really mind, you are my best friend, after all.” Taeyong beamed at me. 

“o-Oh! I’m okay with sleeping on the floor.” I chuckled nervously, averting my gaze to the ground. 

“You sure? We can sleep together on the bed, if you want, but you don’t have to.” Taeyong slid his hand on his bony hips. 

“Oh, okay! I’m okay with sleeping together on the bed.” I felt my already bright pink blush burn to a vermillion, and spread down my neck to my chest. 

“Cool! Now get changed, I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable anyways.” Taeyong then started to unbutton his school button up shirt. 

Wait, what? I’m going to have to change in front of Tae? I instantly picked at my nails in nervousness. Taeyong would probably be disgusted with my huge, squishy body. I grabbed my fat stomach and squeezed it as hard as I could, as it that would shrink all the excess fat I had. I instinctively pressed my jutted-out hip bones with the heel of my palm, as a habit. 

 

After Taeyong slid on a cream colored sweater, and shot me a worried glance. 

“Hey Yuta, are you okay? You just turned really pale for a second there. Are you sick?” 

“What? Oh no, I’m doing okay. Don’t worry!” Taeyong gave me a suspicious look. I wondered if Taeyong could sometimes see right through me, like a piece of glass. 

Taeyong strided his way over here, and back up really close to me. I backed away. 

 

“Um, Taeyong? I’m really okay. I’m not sick or anything.” Taeyong leaned down and held my small shoulders with his large hands. He then pressed his forehead against my forehead, and I let out a small squeak of surprise. Goosebumps started to form on my arm as the foreign sensation washes over me. 

“Hmm. No fever. Guess you are actually okay.” I huffed a bit, looking away. Taeyong smoothed out my fluffy hair down, taming it a bit before it puffed back up, like usual. 

“Sorry, teacup. You know how I am. I’m just worried allllll the time about you.” Taeyong teased me playfully.

I then leaned up and used both of my hands to ruffle and mess up his perfect, soft hair. 

“There. Now we’re even.” I sticked out my tongue and blew a raspberry at Taeyong, who was laughing and shaking his head.

“Fine, now put your shirt on buddy.” He stared down at me. 

I fidgetted a bit, and started to unbutton the white button down shirt. 

I then quickly slid the shirt off, and tugged the olive green hoodie over my head. The sleeves hung loosely around my hips, and the sleeves reached my knees. Wow. I was literally swimming in the olive garment. 

“Nice. Do you want to go to sleep now?” Taeyong asked. 

“Mhm. Yeah.” I answered.


	6. porcelain blue stars and cuddle n' stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> snuggle huddle 
> 
>  
> 
> //
> 
> pale cerulean twinkle star lighties

Chapter Five: Still Yuta’s POV

I climbed onto the bed and pressed myself as far as I could against the wall. I felt the bed dip down with weight, and Taeyong quickly climbed in soon after. I tucked myself inside the comforter and drowned myself in the pillows. Taeyong smiled at me, and tucked himself in too. 

“Can I turn off the light now?” Taeyong reached towards his lamp. 

I shrinked into myself. Taeyong must’ve noticed this, as his hand slid back towards himself. “Oh yeah, I forgot that you were afraid of the dark. Sorry about that bud.” He ruffled my hair and reached under his bed and flipped a switch. Dim string lights with small stars glowed at the edges of the walls. I watched them twinkle and turn into different shades of light baby blue. “There! Is that better?” I nodded. 

Taeyong then turned off the lamp, with only the pale cerulean light illuminating the room faintly. With a content sigh, I snuggled back into the covers, waiting for sleep to overtake me. After 15 minutes of just laying there and not moving, I’ve decided to give up on sleeping at all tonight. I flipped myself over to face Taeyong, who was sleeping peacefully. I watched his chest rise up, and slowly fall down. He looked like a child when he was asleep. He was just- so relaxed. I realized that I had been staring, and my cheeks started to burn, again. Goddammit. How does Taeyong make me blush even when he’s asleep? I puffed my cheeks out in frustrations. I flipped myself back so that I was facing the ceiling. The celeste colored stars twinkled, and I smiled. I buried my face into Taeyong’s pillow and took a deep breath. Hmm. Smells like Taeyong’s laundry detergent and cologne mixed together. I heard Taeyong shuffle next to me, and I stayed dead still, not wanting to stir Taeyong even furthur. 

“Yuta?” Ah, shit. So much for not wanting to wake him up. 

“Hey, are you okay? I’ve noticed that you’ve probably haven’t been sleeping too well lately. You always have these dark circles under your eyes.” Taeyong raised his eyebrow lazily. 

“Oh, sorry for waking you up. I actually have had insomnia for a while now. Everything will be okay, just go back to sleep.” I bunched up the blankets and tugged to relieve some of my stress. 

Taeyong started to comb his long fingers through my hair, and I leaned up in pleasure. He snorted affectionately, and continued his petting. 

“I’m always going to be worried about you, Teacup.” He simpered idly. 

“You don’t have to, you know. I can take care of myself.” 

“Yeah, but not consistently, and you know that very well yourself.” He smirked. 

Well, he did have a point there. I haven’t had a proper meal for about 3 weeks. I’ve just been living on cereal and pop-tarts. 

“u-Um, I know this may sound weird, but can we cuddle? It’s always helped put me to sleep. We don’t have to though! If it makes you uncomfortable.” Silence. 

“It’s okay! I’m really sorry for asking, I can go sleep on the couch-” 

“Yuta! I’m totally okay with cuddling. You just didn’t really strike me as a touchy feely person,” Taeyong scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment from his sudden outburst. I innerly cried a little bit as I realized that Taeyong wasn’t disgusted by my request. 

Taeyong hugged me from behind and flung the blankets over us, creating a tent. I nestled in the warmth provided by Taeyong. I felt slender fingers tangle themselves in my hair, and felt them twist around. I sighed softly, and curled my arms around Taeyong’s waist, and dozed off.


	7. broken dams *trigger warning*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yuta cries

I huddled myself closer to Yuta, sighing a bit from the comforting warmth. Yuta smells like hot chocolate. He also has that “boyish but also floral” scent to him. It was pleasant. 

I felt Yuta’s tiny frame start to relax, and fall asleep. His low breathing sending small vibrations against my arm, and my skin tingled from the strange sensation. 

I combed my fingers through his cedar colored locks. He turned his head up for more. I smiled a little. Yuta’s just like a cat. He’s timid, quiet, and he also likes people touching his hair. As Yuta turned over, his sleeves started to roll up, which revealed his cuts. My smile for Yuta quickly flickered and wavered until it turned into a frown. 

I don’t really understand why Yuta would cut. Is someone at school bullying him without me knowing? If there is, I’m going to kill them. I tried to roll up Yuta’s sleeve up even more to see if there were any more cuts, and I was relieved to see that there weren’t any more cuts on Yuta’s arms. 

A faint smile ghosted over my lips, as I watched Yuta sleep. I ran my fingers through his soft, chestnut locks. 

I stopped my petting when I saw Yuta scrunch up his nose and snuggle closer to me. I was immediately alerted, and concern knit my brows together. Yuta seems to be having a nightmare. He began to scratch at his arms like the way he did so when he was anxious or nervous, so I tried to wake Yuta up so he would stop. He didn’t stir whatsoever, but instead clung onto me even more, like a toddler with their comfort blanket. I began to panic when I saw that blood was drawn from his arms. The first thing that I thought of is how to comfort Yuta. Realising that this may help Yuta cease his stress and anxiety, I began to run my fingers through his hair once again. Yuta’s body began to relax, and he stopped scarring his arms any more further. His creased brows began to loosen up, and he was now in his original sleeping position. 

I scooted back towards my old sleeping position, and began to drift. What would’ve been different for Yuta if I just tried to notice how depressed he actually was? What could’ve I had done differently? God, I’m such a bad friend. I should’ve noticed so much faster. Even though Yuta was always great at burying his feelings away, I should’ve taken notice, as one of his closest- no, his closest friend. I should probably ask Yuta why exactly he was harming himself this way. Negative thoughts racked my head, keeping me as wide awake as possible. 

Yuta began to move around next to me, and suddenly swung his head up, and looked around frantically. He finally calmed down when he saw me lying next to him. 

“Sorry Tae, did I wake you up?” Yuta’s perfect eyebrows knitted together in concern. The corners of my lips turned up a bit. Yuta was always such a considerate person. How could such a soft and kind person turn out to be so damaged, mentally and physically?  
“Nope, I just have a hard time sleeping sometimes, that’s all.” Yuta’s facial features loosened up at this. 

“Really? I have a lot of trouble sleeping, too.” I couldn’t really tell by the dimness of the room, but the way Yuta looked down and interlaced his finger together made it seem like Yuta was blushing.   
Yuta gave me one of his rare tender smiles.

I can tell my cheeks were firing up, because I was getting nervous and the heat was getting overbearing. I hope Yuta could’ve see my blushing like a 10 year old. Why was I feeling like this? I mean, I’m bisexual, but I’ve never felt this strongly about a person. Is Yuta even into guys? 

“Tae? Are you alright? Your face is turning really red.” Yuta cocked one of his eyebrows up. 

“N-Nothing. I just have an unusually high body heat. And, I just woke up, so it’s k-kinda normal to be warm.” I stammered. 

“Oh, that’s good. I was worried that you had caught a cold or something like that.” 

Oh yeah. This reminds me. I still need to ask Yuta why he was self-harming. 

“Yuta? Is it alright if I ask you some questions about your, um, self-harming habits?” I apprehensively asked.

I saw Yuta’s shoulders tense up and shrug up. His eyes blown open.   
“I-I guess so. You at least deserve to know why I self-harm.” Yuta huddled his knees back to his chest.

“Um, what made you start self-harming?” Yuta winced as if the question had physically hurt him. “Well, um. I-I was bulimic. I hated my own body. My legs were too wide, and didn’t have enough of a thigh gap. My arms were gross, and my stomach was huge. I could only count two of my ribs only when I stretched my arms. My collarbone was too sunken down inside my flesh to be prominent enough. I wanted a stronger jawline. So, because of that, I stopped eating. Completely. I was getting stressed out to the point where I would cry everyday before I went to school, and afterschool to prevent me from breaking down in the middle of a classroom. When crying my stress out wasn’t enough, I started to cut myself. That’s one of the reasons why I self-harm.” Yuta’s eyes began to water, and one of tears streamed down his face when he tried to blink them away. I reached over to Yuta and brushed my fingers over one of his tears, and wiped them away. Yuta turned his head away from me, tears flowing like a waterfall. He bit his lips hard, making small noises in a futile attempt to stop crying. I gently turned Yuta to me, in which he turned his head down, not being used to being seen as vulnerable. He let out a shaky sigh. 

“Yuta. It’s okay to cry. You don’t have to act so happy and fine all the time.” Yuta’s labored breathing turned to whimpers, and to tears falling down his shirt. I saw his throat contract while he was making sad noises. He swiped his arm over his eyes, trying to dry his tears. Yuta started to hyperventilate, so I quickly embraced Yuta, and the dam broke. 

He moved his arms up to cover his broken sobs, and pressed his palms against his eyes while he sniffled and choked out his tears. I tried not to cry myself as I felt the warm tears begin to soak through my t-shirt. I felt his heart beating like a drum, getting faster and faster. It must’ve been scary to suddenly tell me all of this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is short but i need it to move on to another chapter alright jeez

I propped my legs up to hold Yuta closer, pressing his face against my soaked shoulder, and I rubbed his back to stop his hiccuping and occasional sniffles and chokes. 

“It’s alright, Yuta. You don’t have to tell me anything else today, okay? Do everything at your own pace. I won’t force you to do anything if you don’t want, or have to. Relax.” I cooed Yuta, who seemed to shake and quiver a little bit less. I let go of Yuta, and pushed his damp hair back from his tear stained forehead, while placing my hands around his face, trying to focus on his features. Yuta blinked hard and forced out his last drops of tears. God, Yuta looks like such a mess. His nose is painted with different shades of amaranth, and his eyes were red and swollen, with purple and blue under eyes to go with it. Yuta grimaced and laughed emptilly, turning his face into my palm. He bit his lip and pushed me away further. He looked to the side, and slipped himself off the bed.   
“I...I think that I’m going to go now. I’m sorry for troubling you. Goodbye.” Yuta walked to the hallway, and was prepared to grab his shoes before I clutched onto his arm. Yuta stopped his actions, and gazed back at me. 

“Please let go of my arm, you’re hurting me.” I quickly let go of my grip. “Thank you. I’ll see you next time.” But when will next time be? I must’ve scared Yuta. I’m sorry, please don’t go. 

“Yuta, please stay here with me. It’s cold outside, and I don’t want you to leave.” I pleaded, tears stinging my eyes once again. Gosh, I must seem pathetic to Yuta after I’ve cried twice today. Yuta continued to slide on his shoes, open the door, and leave. 

I sat down on the hallway steps, while I felt my cheeks get wet. I pushed the heels of my palms into my eyes, while I shed my angry tears. What did I do wrong? I didn’t mean for Yuta to leave, I wanted him to stay. I stifled a whimper, and moved my legs to my face, and wiped off my tears with the fabric of my jeans. After hours of crying, I fell asleep from exhaustion.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for every chapter of this fanfiction 
> 
> be safe bbs

Yuta’s POV

A shrill beeping sounded throughout the stuffy air, shaking me from my dreamless sleep. In a daze, I reached out for my alarm clock, flailing for the snooze button. I sneezed loudly, and I rubbed my abused eyes. A blurry figure loomed over me, which caused my anxiety to go in override. I sat up immediately, and shut my eyes from the pain my head was quaking me with. I felt a familiar cool hand slide their hand under my sweaty bangs, and pushed me back gently. This hand?

It felt like Taeyong’s? 

I slammed my eyes back open, and shot straight back up. 

“Woah there, tiger. Hold your socks.” Taeyong mumbled in a playful manner. 

“...How did you get into my house?” I glowered a bit, trying to mask my silent guilt and joy brewed together.   
“What?” Taeyong laughed. “You gave them to me a while back, saying that I could let myself in if I ever wanted to.” I puffed my cheeks out. Shoot, I did say that before…

“Anyways, anyhow, you’re running a fever of 102.4 degrees. I came to check up on you, and I also wanted to walk together to school.” Why was he acting like nothing happened yesterday? Did he forget? No way. 

Taeyong ruffled my mess of brown hair, and intertwined his fingers between the strands of hair. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you this, but how do you get your hair to be so soft and silky?” What?

“Huh? What?” I looked up at Taeyong in minor shock. 

“Sorry if that came off weird, I was just curious. Everytime I ruffle your hair, it’s always so fluffy and fun to touch.” I felt color bloom onto my face. 

“I don’t know, genetics I guess?” I puffed out my cheeks and sputtered out a cough, receiving a worried look from Taeyong. “God dammit Yuta, it was raining outside, and I bet that you just ran straight home, seeing as that’s soooo responsible of you.” Taeyong mocked in a sarcastic manner. 

I choked out a laugh at his immaturity. “Pfft. Whatever, Lee.” Taeyong held a look of feigned sadness at my retort. 

“You need to learn how to take care of yourself, Yuta. I mean, who does this?” Taeyong questioned. 

“I do. Don’t normal people do this? Be oh so irresponsible?” 

“Yeah, but you’re not even close to being human, Nakamoto.” Taeyong mirrored my tone. 

“Alrighty then, then what does that make you, Mr. I’m-Ever-Too-Cocky-To-Admit-That-I’m-An-Alien?” Taeyong wiggled his eyebrows, “It makes me exotic, seeing that I’m an alien.” 

“You’re so weird.” 

“Coming from you, that hurts.” 

I cocked my eyebrow up. “Really? Is that so?”

“Yep.” I coughed a bit, causing Taeyong to look back at me.

“Do you have any cold medicine? You’re running a high ass fever, and I don’t want you to die just yet.” I laid back down into my cushiony bed, and pointed towards where my bathroom was. “The cabinet to the right.” 

Taeyong patted my mussed hair, and headed towards the bathroom. I huffed a bit, before settling down in my cozy bed, bunching up my blankets to wrap me in warmth. My anxiety started to spike.

Why was Taeyong being casual with me? Did he feel embarrassed? God, I felt bad. Was he trying to make me feel comfortable? I don’t deserve to have him as my best friend, let alone have the privilege to talk to him. He probably pities me, that’s why he’s so kind to me. The stifling feeling of emptiness folded over me, and I felt my throat close up, as the feeling of tears forming triggered a state of vulnerableness. 

I roughly grabbed the pillow besides me, and clamped it down on my face, pretending to have a headache, when really, tears were threatening to cascade out of my eyes. I tried to relax my shaking frame, and my guttural breathing. 

I heard shuffling come from the bathroom, and I bit my inner cheek hard enough to distract me from how the pillow is beginning to feel moist from my tears. 

“Here, have some DayQuil. It’ll make you sleepy, but it’ll also make you feel better. Probably.” I clutched to the pillow pressing against my wet eyes. I flipped the pillow over, I tucked myself under the covers. 

“T-Thanks.” I furiously wiped the tears off my cheeks onto the blankets and covers, and lifted my head up from the thick covers, and accepted the small orange pill that was handed to me. I averted the gaze in hopes of Taeyong not noticing how puffy his eyes are. I guess he noticed, because when I peered up subtly, a very worried looking Taeyong was looming over me slightly, but decided to not pry, and drop the subject. In my cloudy state of sadness and sickness, my dumbass decided to ask Taeyong something. 

“Why are you acting like nothing is wrong?” Shitfuck. 

 

Taeyong shot up his eyebrows, and began to fiddle with his slender fingers. “-Well, I-I, um-” 

“Fuck. I didn’t mean to ask that. Sorry, it was just on my mind.” I sniffled, trying to clear up the constricting tightness of my throat. 

“No, it’s alright. I didn’t know what to do, so I guess that I just wanted to make you feel comfortable. I didn’t want to make you feel bad. I don’t want you to run away again.” 

I knew it. I didn’t deserve this gorgeous human. 

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I freaked out and I didn’t know what to do. I’m really sorry.” I admitted my feelings, chewing on the inside of my cheek, making it swell and bleed. 

Taeyong seems stunned, his serene eyes widening in shock. I lowered my gaze, trying my hardest to not blush in front of Taeyong. But, judging by the heat radiating off my hands, I can already tell that my face is red as hell. 

I saw Taeyong’s shadow shade over me, and he suddenly tilted my face up. 

Before I could get a word out of my mouth, Taeyong’s leaned towards my face, and kissed me.


End file.
